Ain’t it funny/ Baby that you want me/ When you had me/ Love is crazy/ I’m glad I can smile and say…
… continue reading this entry.
On Thursday, Cutie and I finally closed the door on us. I pleaded my case for the last time and he explained for the last time. I cried for the last time. And he held me for the last time. Twas hella painful and I wondered how I would get through a whole day of work on Friday. I hardly managed all morning. Calmed down into the afternoon and was all perked up by the evening, looking forward to dancing off all the bad vibes. I got my face made up and headed downtown, hoping for a slight case of amnesia.
I figured with some liquid courage and professional make-up, I could do like the alchies and
fake it til (I) make it … continue reading this entry.
I can’t possibly have to go through meeting another dude, get excited, take the financial and emotional time to learn what he’s all about, take all the necessary precautions to try to not to fall too quickly, end up fallin’ anyway and be left alone picking up the pieces.
Can I just settle down already? Please? I’m tired of playing love games. I’m ready to just love and chill out a sec. Safe in the arms of love. I know this is cheesy as fuck but it’s true.
Maybe that’s too much pressure for Cutie. I dunno then why the fuck did we meet and connect? Why can’t I stop thinking about him? Why can’t we stay away from each other? Why? … continue reading this entry.
Yet another month without a blog. I’m tired of making excuses for not regularly posting stuff and I’m sure you’re tired of hearing it. I’ll tell you this much however… Many people have been able to figure who’s who behind some of my cleverly crafted pseudonyms so as much as I would love to share, it’s hella difficult to do so which makes blogging a drag even when I do have time… Which is never! I find pleasure in writing with no holds barred… It’s absolute freedom especially coz my life is an absolute circus but as much as I’d love to share, I can’t risk the wrong people knowing too much about me or those that I innocently mention in this space. That wouldn’t be fair to them or their/my hard work and endeavours. Nevertheless here goes… … continue reading this entry.
The last month has been insane and for the most part, I ain’t where I wanna be. Sure, I’m being challenged on the daily by this new gig and I’m all about being challenged to the max. But I’ve never ever ever been this stressed out. I guess it’s only fitting that LIVE TV is the third most stressful job in the world. Sure, I got to meet DJ DRAMA but really now…Does that make it worth it..?!
I asked to be challenged, not to go out the same way as Michael Jackson (with a dam heart attack). I mean I’m currently in a space that saw me be unable to blog for over a month because things are that hectic and crazy and insane and BUSY! And all I really wanna do is put on some Marvin Gaye and
get it on … continue reading this entry.
In a day, God created man. And when the sun set that evening, he looked at Adam and said, ‘Hotdam I’m rock long time…’ and then he went drinking at the Eden river, with the angels, to celebrate…
It’s taken double that time for me and Shorty to restart fighting after just making up. Ya neh. We couldn’t even go the seven that I spoke of in my last post. There’s really no point in getting into why we are fighting now [but for completeness sake, here’s the jist- we were supposed to go out to some birthday gig on Thursday night and he took a unilateral decision to cancel our plans. Something about being tired and under-dressed. I was not impressed. I flipped at him for being a fader. He claimed we could do it on Friday. Nothing happened Friday. Instead he was out with his mates. Which was all apparently unplanned. I just keep thinking I’m way to pretty to be dealing with such non-issues. Plently guys wanna spend time with me. Why am I still here? For what!? When it really appears as though, I ain’t wanted.] I’m just sick of it. It’s like the bad is superceding the good. It’s so bad, I’m thinking of drawing up a list. Either of Pro’s n Con’s or of things that he does that I absolutely despise. He can also draw up the latter with regards to me and if we gonna work at this, those lists must be adhered to, otherwise it’s an indication of disrespect and sheer carelessness. Which speaks volumes. … continue reading this entry.
Back in high school, I dated some triflin’ niggas. Popular but hella dodge tertiary guys who would cheat on me. And my fellow female pupils would be more than happy to let me in on my boyfriends’ indiscretions. Coz that’s how real it would get in high school. Women-on-women violence. But they would be the first to hook up with him straight afterwards despite his shady track-record. Or worse still, these girls would knowingly hook up with dude even though they knew he was unavailable…
… continue reading this entry.
Well, maybe it was not so much a magic moment coz I don’t think my life changed in that instance but the way I looked at a certain person, changed forever that very night. And for the first time, I admitted it to myself and him. Twas quite profound. Like looking in the mirror. But really looking… Not a passing glance…
On the way home on the Wednesday evening, my car-pool dude had his weekly night lecture. I was keen to get home after an exhausting day which saw Shorty and me ignoring each other. Literally. Dude, twas so crazy that he even ducked into the toilet when he saw me. I followed suite and jumped up from where I was sitting. My heart in my throat as I tried to shake it off! Funny thing, I had just found out when we, the interns, would be going on air so I was hella excited but I couldn’t even share that with him. Twas just wack. … continue reading this entry.
It’s a heavy love story focussing on a young woman’s quest for self discovery and more specifically love. He described a magic moment as that moment when a YES or NO changes your life forever. I feel like these 180 DAYS have been a series of magic moments in themselves. Which is bad and good. Good because everyday is one hella surprise after another. I can’t say that I’m bored at all. But I also can’t say that I know what’s really going on even on the basics front. It’s almost like having sex with a blindfold on. It’s cool for a bit but after a while, you just wanna know what’s going on… or maybe I’m just one hella control freak! Relaxa tu! But I guess that’s what life really is. a series of decisions that ultimate contribute to the Butterfly Effect whether you’d like to believe in the weight that a seemingly insignificant action may carry. … continue reading this entry.
You may truly be suffering from buyer’s remorse but sometimes it’s just the culmination of both self-doubt and greed- ie feeling as though you don’t really deserve such pleasure for whatever inane reason, missing the thrill of the chase and wondering if you can get this, what else is in store which could be bigger n better.
Shorty asked me to be his girlfriend on Friday night/early hours of Saturday morning. Yes, I know I should just live in the moment and enjoy this. But please just indulge me for a sec….
No question about it, I’m hella flattered. I did not see it coming though. That nigga lives for suprising me, I swear. I never really know how he’s gonna act, react, respond. It keeps me on my toes, I guess. And very independent in thought. I couldn’t try impress him even if I tried coz I never know where his head is at. Plus, that just ain’t my steez. He likes that. He said he is looking for somebody to keep him grounded… And um it appears that I’m the only one in the running coz he knows that many chicks that holla at him are doing it for superficial reasons. I know right, also shock-ed that he knows as much… Not jus a cutie… … continue reading this entry.
365 Days... and even Beyond... 